So, I have been thinking about having this new baby and I am getting nervous. I was nervous to have Micah because I didn't know what to expect and now I am nervous for this new baby because I do know what to expect. I am really not looking forward to all the intensive care that an infant needs on top of taking care of Micah. I remember the sleepless nights, the nightmare of nursing, not knowing what to do most of the time to keep him happy, etc. I also have that fear of not loving the new one as much as I love Micah. Here I have this long standing bond with Micah and then I will have a new baby that will just need so much of my time and attention, but won't have much in the way of a response or interaction for a while. I know a couple of you have more than one kid, so if you have any advice or could share your experience with me, I would appreciate it!
P.S. That is Micah at about a week old. Time flies!
Friday, October 12, 2007
Serious concerns
The latest by The Trotter Family at 8:04 AM
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Sorry, I'm not one for advice on this, I'm surious to see how it goes for you! When the baby comes (or if you need a break now) give me a call, Kaleb and Micah need to get together again & I think I can handle two mellow kids :) You voiced my concerns over having another kid. As for the bonding thing...I didn't feel a strong bond with kaleb at first, mostly just a need to protect him. Kind of sad to admit, but at first things are so hard...I wouldn't worry about it, because you know you'll love the baby & he/she will be too little to get jealous over your bond with Micah :) You have alot of family nearby too, hopefully they will be helpful!
Lemme tell you... its not easy having two! But you will get used to it. And the second one is easier than the first, you already have the knowledge you didnt have the first go around. Its alot more relaxed. And as for your bond and loving the 2nd as much as #1, its possible. Wyatt is the biggest mamas boy you will ever meet (not saying I love him more) but my bond with him is just as strong as Jacks, and it was instant. You never think you can love something as much as your child, but remember the 2nd is yours too and they will get as much love and attention as the 1st one, even though you wont always feel like they are! You will be fine! And Im always a phone call away when you need a break :)
Seriously......DO NOT STRESS!!!! You will have plenty of love for everyone! And you will just learn to juggle time with each. You will be fine. It is not that bad, especially with All the family you have willing to help; not to mention super-dad Chad!!! You are going to be a great mom to this little tyke, just like you are to Micah....do not worry; just enjoy and embrace all the changes! It is all exciting!
It's kinda crazy, when the second child comes around you will find that you and Micah will love the new one together, and in so doing the love between you and Micah will also strengthen without lessening the love you have for your second child. Did your love for Chad decrease when Micah was born? No, you love him more and you still love your child, and so it will be with your 2nd child. It's crazy how it all works out.
The love isn't divided, it multiplies with each child that you have. I loved what Rachel said about you and Micah loving the baby together. I often step back and marvel at the family we've created. I had very similar feelings when I was pregnant with the 2nd, but Heidi has been a gift to our family, most specifically for Emma. Emma's learned about being kind and helps out more around the house. My advice once the baby's here is to give Micah alone time with Mommy and/or Daddy sometimes. Take him to the grocery store or the park while someone watches the baby. Emma lights up when she gets to run an errand alone with her Dad. I think it makes her feel special. She still misses Heidi though so when they "reunite" they're very excited to see each other. It'll be fun to see Micah as a big brother.
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