Old and Bold

This post was inspired by my dear grandmother who greeted me yesterday by saying, "You will have to excuse me, I've had Montezuma's revenge all day!" What do you say to that? Other than thinking, man that is gross, I thought, being old is going to have its upsides (not the diarrhea, the openness)! I have had a lot of experience being around the elderly. I worked at a retirement home for years in their restaurant. I would hear things like that all the time. One of my favorites was from an old couple that said, "Remember we want our dessert to go. We have to go home and shag." If that isn't the epitome of old and bold, I don't know what is! Although the aches and pains of being old will suck, here are some of the pros I can think of...dinner at 4:30, getting fat and no one caring, saying what you want without a filter, farting when and where you please, talking about number two with interest, telling younger kids what it was like "in my day" with a quiver in my voice, being cranky and not having to explain why, getting a senior citizen discount, making See's Candy part of my food pyramid, having a yippy dog that only likes me and bites other people, wearing my pants way high because it is more comfortable and I'm skinnier there, exercising in a chair and feeling like that was a big work out, learning to play bridge, making my kids change my diapers (just kidding), taking naps for no other reason other than just being old, totally not caring about pop culture or trends because what I think is cool now will be cool forever in my mind, etc., etc.! Can you think of a old person perk?