So to all of you that read my blog, you may have noticed that I haven't been very good about posting lately and I apologize that I haven't been a good commenter either. I promise I am reading, but I don't have tome to comment because my little Brooklyn who you usually see like this:
Looks like this after about 6:30 p.m. each night:
Her colic is still raging. I have tried gripe water, warm baths, gas medicine, walks, curling her up and changing my diet. Nothing changes. She is just as fussy as ever. I was told that at three months it seems to magically disappear. Well, three months have come and gone and still no change. I am frustrated and usually end up in tears once a day feeling like a bad mother. Luckily, I have my mom who is there to let me know that it will work out, but for the time being I feel like I am being tortured. To rub salt in the wound, I got the visiting teaching message today and it had to do with the eternal nature of motherhood. Great, I have to do this forever? I have a three year old that is testing his limits each and every day and a three month old that screams at me each night. I am exhausted and at my wits end. I feel like I might need to get on anti-depressants just to make it through this period. I think I just might. Happy pills won't make it better, but maybe I will be able to cope with it better. I know everyone says to cherish these times when they are little, but I think this is a time I would rather forget. I am looking forward to getting out of this phase and quickly. Don't get me wrong, I love my kids, but I like them when they are asleep better right now. Mom, I'm sorry for being colicky for you. I promise I understand now how bad it was. Thanks for not throwing me through a window!
Sunday, August 31, 2008
Blogging hiatus
The latest by The Trotter Family at 10:11 PM
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9 Quick Thoughts:
rachel, that is so junky. i am sorry. wish i knew of a cure all. why is there such thing as colic? hope it gets better soon!
poor thing.. drop your kids with me for the day so u can go have some mommy time. honestly, im not kidding!
You're a good mom and even good moms have struggles and you're well within your right to feel frustrated. Keep on hangin' on!
P.S. If you go on antidepressants be prepared to ween Brooklyn. I'm def not trying to deter you, as I feel they saved my life, just putting it out there. A woman at church was taking them after being told they were Ok for her baby and he stroked out and died. Sadness! OK, I didn't mean to add to your stress.
Don't forget: you're a great mom and there are legions of us who'd love to babysit, myself included!
You are an amazing mom. Remember- you're doing the best that you can, and that's enough. Even though you will remember this time, Brooklyn never will and she'll grow up to be just as cute and happy as Micah is (despite his limit testing :) In the meantime, the best thing you can give them both is a happy mommy.
I'm still learning all this mommy stuff and I watch you with awe. You are incredible! And the girls are right- there's a legion of willing baby holders, take us up on it!
Rach, I'm so sorry your kids ar torturing you right now! I seriously think the best thing you can do is schedule time for yourself & I'd be willing to babysit too!
Motherhood is a test almost everyday, I believe you are doing wonderful, I too get frustrated some days especially if naps don't happen, on those days I count the minutes before Bryan comes home then I check out... and recoup for the next day. So hang in there it does get better. Adam is almost 1 now and things are pretty calm around here for the most part. It is almost heart breaking how fast they get big.
val says she used to hate it when people said cherish these days they go to fast. Bwcause to her they couldn't go by fast enough. She knows it's tough but if anyone can do it, you can. Rice cereal should help her have a full belly. Maybe put her to bed a little earlier every night. JTs doctor told her it was important for his development to cry. Maybe put her down and go for a walk so you don't have to hear her and let chad stay while you get some alone time.
I say you are an excellent Mom and I am so lucky to have your experiences and examples to learn from. Brooklyn was sent to you because of your strength.
Val say "damn patriotical blessing."
Love you tons. Wish you were here recooping with us. Next year you'll have to come. You deserve it.
Oh Rachel - I'm feeling that same way right now about being overwhelmed and feeling like a bad mother. I think the best 'medicine' for that is time away from the kids periodically to re-coop. I don't get away very often but when I do I always feel more refreshed when I return home which helps me be a better mother. It is intimidating knowing that this is an eternal responsibility, but I have to remind myself how blessed we are to have children, and I'm trying to appreciate the small things in life. Just do your best, that's the most you can do..and hopefully the rest will fall into place. It's the hugs, kisses, and memories that keep me going so that's what I hold on to.
Rachel, I went through something similar after having number 2. Sometimes I think that hearing that others went through the same thing is a relief. I started sleep training at about 12 weeks, which meant that after 4 nights of him crying for 4 hours each, he finally started sleeping 8 hours straight (I know it sounds so harsh, but I am convinced that some babies need that to learn how to sleep through the night and make it better for mom and baby). Otherwise I was crazy bitter about how demanding he was on my taxed body. You need to get at least 4 consecutive hours of sleep for your brain to get emotional resoration, and not getting that is so hard on a mama. I suggest following the methods of "Healthy Sleep Habits, Healthy Child"'s extinction method for sleep training. After I did it I was a much better mama and much happier. Just a suggestion, some can't handle it, but if you are at your wits end, I say give it a try.
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